- Ryan and I opened 3 retail stores
- We helped produce a TV show pilot with a renowned actor, with a phenomenal bunch of people
- We moved
- We had a surprise pregnancy...that ended up surprising us even more by being identical twin girls!
- I took on a part-time job as the kids ministry director at our church
- Ryan took on more responsibilities and became not only the music director, but the pastor there
- I was pretty much on bed-rest most of my pregnancy (not fun!)
- We decided to move again, to be near our church and not have to commute (with 3 kids and newborn twins) to another town
- So we closed down 2 of our stores, sold one, and have been letting life settle a bit as we get used to having 2 babies in the house
There are some valuable things I've learned over this last year. There have been a ton of changes, some I expected, some I didn't, some good, and some that were painful. I truly believe that every season of your life can be beneficial, even the hard ones, if you can learn something from it and walk away from it a better person. This past year was awesome in so many ways, and so, so hard in other ones. We lost some things and gained others. We let some dreams go, and started dreaming new dreams. That's both painful and exciting. Here are some things I've learned in this last crazy, busy, hectic, exciting, and trying year:
I've learned...
--God can give you peace when you're life is chaotic
What can I say about this that hasn't already been said by people way smarter than me? All I know is that this is sooooo true
--I am stronger than I thought
--Even though I felt my family was complete before I had the twins, we weren't
--I love all the girl stuff that comes with having baby girls (even though I'm a tom-boy at heart)
--I love my family more every day
--I really miss sleeping
--Mascara can really mask the fact that I'm a walking zombie
--The laundry that a family of 7 can generate is about to send me to the crazy house
--I still hate laundry
--Laughter really is the best medicine
--Seasons of life always change
--I have a need to be a part of something bigger than myself...to be a part of a team
--I'm still as optimistic and hopeful as I ever was
--Friends can say they're your friends but actions speak louder than words. Can I elaborate? Thanks. :)
I have many friends, but I'm selective on who I truly let in my "inner circle". I've had several friends in the recent past that told me that I was their closest friend and I considered them mine as well. We had many heart to heart talks, shared many common interests, passions, and goals. Friends that I thought would be in my life forever. Friends that I knew were an integral part of my journey, and I theirs. Friends that I had factored into my decision making and planning for my future, my goals, creative collaboration, etc. These friends did not make the journey with me this last year. When you lose that kind of friend, it's painful. I've learned that you can be a great friend, but that doesn't mean they will be a great friend in return. I think it's even more painful when you can't even pinpoint a specific reason or event that triggered the separation. So you're left with doubts, and questions and you're left wondering why they chose to not walk life's path with you anymore. I would go to the ends of the earth for my friends, and when you have that same expectation for someone else, and they don't follow through, it's a big disappointment.
So what have I learned? I've learned that people let you down. But, you have to work through the pain and forgive. I've learned that this is very difficult for me. I've learned that I hold on to the memory of what was and what could've been for way too long. I've learned that not having closure makes me feel crazy and that wondering about the what-ifs and what could've beens make me doubt myself. I've learned that it hurts and makes me so sad. So that leads me to the next thing that I've learned...
-- to guard my heart.
--true friends are worth their weight in gold
I've also learned that true friends stick by your side no matter what. They will show up to the hospital when you've gone into pre-term labor, you're emotional, you're babies are hooked up to tubes, and bring a smile to your face when it's your birthday and you are stuck in a hospital. They show up to the business that you have to have liquidated in less than 48 hours and you are stressed because you don't want to be there. You want and need to be with your preemie babies, and they help you pack up everything into the wee hours of the morning. You never had to ask these people to come, they just show up because they know that you're family is really in the thick of a chaotic, stressful situation, and that you and your husband are both on the verge of a break down. I've learned that actions speak louder than words. You can say you're my friend, but if you're not honest with me, authentic, and show up when times are tough, then you're actions are telling me something else.
--I feel more empowered as a woman, wife, mother, musician, actor, writer, and business woman than I've ever felt and I'm ready to take on the world. So watch out!
We all go through different ups and downs, some people in your life walk the journey with you, some won't. But in the end, it's what you learn from the experience that will help build you and make you a better you. Keep on keepin' on...I'm rootin' for ya.
