A Crazy, Tiring, Wonderful Journey

I'm definitely a person who is future oriented and doesn't live in the past, but today, I'm feeling rather nostalgic as I celebrate my twin daughters first birthday. This last year has been crazy, to say the least.  I never dreamt I would ever have twins. The possibility of that happening was never on my radar. So, when I found out I was having twins I was floored! You could have told me I had won the lottery and I wouldn't have been more surprised. We were really happy with our 3 boys and I never felt I was missing out on not having a little girl. We were done having kids...or so we thought. We were so shocked to even be pregnant, and then they tell us we were having twins! Then a few weeks after that, they tell us they are identical girls! Life felt like a whirlwind of crazy.

One year ago I had 2 preemies (born at 34 weeks and 5 days):

Some pictures of the birthday girls today, a year later:

It's impossible to get a selfie with the 3 of us. :) 

Having twin babies is a ton of work and "they" say that if you can make it through the first year, then the chances are good that you might survive the rest. ;) Well, we survived! Hallelujah! But not without a lot of sacrifice, and lessons learned. Here are just some (of the many) things I've learned in this last year.

1. Our whole family needed these girls. 
They bring so many smiles, laughs, and joy to all of us. As far as babies go, they are really easy and adaptable. Seeing the interaction between the two of them is so entertaining. They really light up our days (and nights!).  God knew what He was doing, even when I wasn't so sure.

2. The life and career sacrifices have been worth it.
I am reminded, daily, of what really matters. My life is so much fuller now.

3. I can and do still have a life. (But I have to make a conscious effort to do so).
I was worried that two babies meant the end of everything I loved and wanted out of life. As much as I love being a wife and mom, I know that it's not healthy for me to get solely wrapped up in those two roles, that I lose myself and my identity.  They are a huge part of who I am, don't get me wrong. And aside from my faith, my family is the most important thing in my life. But I am a better wife and mother when I have the freedom to learn and grow; to experience life, dreams, and goals. There are so many irons I have in the fire right now, and that's the way I love it.

4. We have amazing people in our lives that come along beside us and pick up the slack when they see we need it. 
What would we do without our true friends? I would be in the crazy house, I'm sure.

5. My boys are going to be amazing fathers. That's a fact.
They are so tender, loving, aware, and concerned with their sisters. Sometimes I think they take better care of them than I do. ;) When the girls do something cute, or pass a milestone, the look of wonder and pride in their big brothers eyes is so endearing. It makes my heart melt.

6. All the girly clothes and pretty things are way too much fun! And I might be a little obsessed with hair bows.  :)

7. It's nearly impossible to get a good picture of two babies being happy at the same time.

Has the last year been wonderful? Yes! But, just to keep it real, we've also had some crazy moments of sleep deprived melt downs, misunderstandings, and exhausted "conversations". But those are the moments you grow. How can you become a better person and grow if you don't have challenges? Gold is refined by heat and fire. So, I'm learning to be thankful for the fire. Because even though it's painful, the end result is worth it.  With that being said...let me add an 8th thing I've learned this last year (or been reminded of)....

8. I still feel like the luckiest girl in the world to be married to Ryan. 
I wouldn't have wanted to travel this crazy journey with anyone else. He's an amazing father. Even though there are moments we drive each other crazy, at the end of it all, he's the person I respect the most. No one compares. Men of character and integrity are few and far between. Plus he's super cute. ;)